In a desperate bid to boost readership and make Rochdale feel like the set of a mid-budget crime documentary, the local constabulary launched Operation Hurricane, presumably named after the wind generated by one PCSO chasing a 14-year-old on a stolen scrambler bike through Lidl’s car park.
The operation, which involved more uniforms than the opening scene of a budget calendar shoot, was a “targeted day of action”, which in Rochdale roughly translates to “Tuesday”. Officers, PCSOs, and a few unpaid volunteers who just fancied wearing high-vis and shouting at teenagers joined forces to take on the great scourge of society: mildly anti-social off-road biking.
The operation’s climax came when police dramatically followed three illegal bikes to a supermarket in Heywood. There, after a tense standoff near the frozen peas, one uninsured bike was seized. The rider is believed to have escaped on foot, pursued briefly by a Special Constable who gave up after tripping over a trolley coin chain.
In total, a whopping four bikes were seized, a figure which, while technically an improvement on “none”, still feels more like a raffle prize than a hard-hitting crackdown. Two arrests were made: one person has been charged and another released without charge, presumably after convincing officers they were “just holding it for a mate”.
Officers also managed four stop-searches, issued two fines under a Public Space Protection Order, and handed out two police warnings. Whether anyone paid attention remains unclear.
Sgt Brendan Walsh, fresh from learning how to shake his head solemnly for the local news camera, said: “We are tackling the issue head-on,” which in Rochdale means posting three pictures to Facebook and hoping for a comment that doesn’t start with “not being funny but…”
The operation forms part of the wider Safe4Summer campaign, a title which clearly didn’t undergo spellcheck or consultation with anyone under 40. The initiative hopes to curb anti-social behaviour, although many locals have pointed out that the weather has been doing most of the work.
In other news, the Rochdale Times editorial team have confirmed that, yes, this is what passes for excitement now. And no, they don’t want to talk about the readership numbers.
