A Middleton man has become one of the first patients to benefit from a groundbreaking new cardiac support service at The Christie, and one of the few to survive a brush with both heart failure and NHS scheduling.
Stephen Dunn, 72, a semi-retired van driver and full-time husband, was diagnosed with melanoma last year after his wife Kay reportedly stared at a mole long enough to make it feel self-conscious. The mole, located on Stephen’s lower back, had changed colour and shape, something Stephen hadn’t noticed, presumably because he doesn’t own a mirror or bend that way anymore.
But the real plot twist came when doctors remembered Stephen’s heart had already been misbehaving like a toddler on Haribo. Diagnosed with atrial fibrillation and fitted with a pacemaker in 2022, after flunking an HGV health check for having only 14% heart function, Stephen was now the proud owner of both a dodgy ticker and a ticking time bomb of medical complications.
Luckily, The Christie’s new “cardiac device service” meant that instead of exploding like a microwave with a fork in it during surgery, Stephen’s pacemaker was deftly switched off and back on again by a team of calm, reassuring people who were not, crucially, Stephen himself.
“The cardiac team were brilliant,” Stephen said, “and didn’t once look panicked, unlike me when I saw the hospital car park prices.”
His surgery went smoothly, with doctors confirming that no further cancer treatment is currently needed, which was, reportedly, “a huge relief for Kay, who can now stop people from assuming she’s a widow every time they bump into her alone at Aldi.”
The Christie is now proudly boasting about the service, which has already handled over 550 device checks, 180 patient referrals, and at least one very relieved couple who can now go back to spending their retirement eating pasta in Italy instead of navigating PACS systems and oncology corridors.
Kay, who’s been married to Stephen for 31 years, says they’re planning to resume their regular holidays, presumably with an extra suitcase for Stephen’s pacemaker manual, melanoma checklists, and several laminated copies of his “still alive” status for local gossip management.
Reporting from down the M62, we salute Stephen’s resilience, Kay’s mole-spotting vigilance, and The Christie’s ability to keep people alive and fully electronic without needing to plug them into the mains.
