Listeners of Roch Valley Radio have been urged to “brace for a confusing but ultimately polite upheaval” after it was announced that Scott Mills will be joining the station’s breakfast slot, replacing longstanding host Dave “Two Sugars” Hargreaves and his kettle.
The move, confirmed late Tuesday afternoon between a traffic update and an advert for pre-owned conservatories, marks a significant shift for the hyper-local station, which has until now specialised in a blend of soft rock, passive-aggressive shout-outs, and a man coughing directly into the microphone.
Station manager Colin Briggs described the signing as “a coup, in the sense that none of us are entirely sure how it’s happened,” adding that Mills had apparently taken a wrong turn off the M62 and, after asking for directions, was offered a permanent contract and a branded mug.
“Scott brings energy, professionalism, and a working understanding of what a microphone does,” Briggs said. “These are all qualities we’ve historically regarded with suspicion.”
Mills is expected to introduce a number of sweeping changes to the breakfast show format, including playing songs recorded after 1998, completing full sentences, and acknowledging that weather exists outside Greater Manchester. Early trial runs reportedly caused mild panic among regular listeners, one of whom phoned in to ask if the “new lad” could “slow down a bit and maybe sound more tired.”
In a brief statement, Mills said he was “thrilled to be joining Roch Valley Radio and looking forward to waking up Rochdale with a mix of music, chat, and mild bewilderment.” He later clarified that he had initially believed Roch Valley Radio to be “either a vineyard or a typo.”
Outgoing host Hargreaves, who has presented the breakfast show since 1987 and once broadcast an entire programme from inside a Ford Fiesta, said he harboured no ill will. “I’ve had a good run,” he said, stirring tea audibly. “And frankly, if someone else wants to deal with Barry from Castleton ringing in about bins every morning, they can have it.”
Local reaction has been mixed. Some residents have welcomed the arrival of a recognisable voice, while others have expressed concern that the station may lose its trademark sense of “vague uncertainty.” One listener described the development as “exciting, but also unsettling, like when Lidl moved the croissants.”
At the time of writing, Mills was said to be undergoing an intensive induction process, including learning how to operate the studio’s “on air” sign (a Post-it note), and being warned not to lean on the filing cabinet, which is structurally integral to the building.
Reporting from down the M62, where the signal fades just as things get interesting.
