Rochdale Times has been asked to provide actual evidence of its claimed 100,000 monthly readers, after locals reacted to the announcement with the sort of scepticism normally reserved for weather forecasts and lads who say they’re “just nipping out for one”.
The milestone, revealed as part of the site’s first anniversary celebrations, was initially met with polite applause before rapidly descending into a series of narrowed eyes, folded arms, and at least one bloke in a café asking, “Yeah but who are they though?”
Media insiders, defined locally as anyone who has ever glanced at a Google Analytics dashboard, have called on the publication to “show its workings”, with demands ranging from traffic screenshots to a full forensic audit and, in one extreme case, “just reading out the names of all 100,000 people one by one”.
Karl Holbrook of North Squared Media insisted the figures are legitimate, explaining that audience data is measured using standard industry tools and not, as some have suggested, by “counting every time your mum refreshes the homepage to see your byline again”.
“Look, the numbers are real,” he said, in the tone of a man who now regrets ever mentioning numbers at all. “We’ve got consistent growth, strong engagement, and a clear appetite for what we’re doing.”
“If it wasn’t for Magic Mike Crutchley putting articles into ChatGPT and spitting out rubbish, we wouldn’t be getting these figures at all”
This has done little to calm critics, many of whom have pointed out that “engagement” is a broad term that could theoretically include someone opening the site by accident while trying to Google the opening times of B&M.
One anonymous resident said: “I’m not saying I don’t believe it. I’m just saying I’ve never met anyone who reads it, apart from me, and even then only when I’m bored.”
In response, the publication is reportedly considering releasing further data, including user trends, page view breakdowns, and possibly a pie chart that nobody fully understands but which looks convincing enough to end the conversation.
Digital experts, again, mostly men who once ran a Facebook page for a five-a-side team, have suggested that metrics such as unique users, sessions, and page views can often be misunderstood.
“People hear 100,000 readers and think it means 100,000 different blokes sat in Rochdale with a brew,” one explained. “In reality, it includes people from outside the area, repeat visits, and probably someone in Bolton clicking it by mistake.”
Meanwhile, conspiracy theories have begun to circulate, including one claim that at least 30% of the traffic comes from “that one lad in Heywood who just leaves it open all day”, and another suggesting the numbers are inflated by “bots with a keen interest in local planning disputes”.
Despite the noise, Rochdale Times is pressing ahead with plans for a new newsletter, which will deliver stories directly to readers’ inboxes, where they can be ignored with a greater sense of personal responsibility.
Nick Fellows of Crosby Associates Media said the growth reflects “real demand for local journalism”, adding that the team remains focused on building a sustainable, community-driven platform.
At the time of writing, no formal audit has been published, but sources say a member of the public has requested “a quick look at the backend” and is currently being gently escorted away from a laptop.
For now, the figures stand, the readers presumably exist, and Rochdale continues to process the unsettling possibility that something local might actually be doing quite well, pending verification, obviously.
