A former Greater Manchester detective sergeant has tragically drowned under circumstances so vague even Scooby-Doo would’ve asked for a second opinion.
Paul France, 61, a seasoned GMP officer turned undercover sleuth in the British Virgin Islands, was found dead in his SUV off the coast of Tortola last October. Locals say it’s the most excitement the handbrake’s seen since 1993.
Despite initial suspicions due to his covert police work, believed to involve something marginally more serious than confiscating rum, BVI authorities concluded there was probably no foul play. They assured the public the investigation was thorough, just not necessarily competent.
Det Sgt France had been out celebrating a successful police raid (on what, we’re not told, possibly a rogue beach bar). He was last seen driving home. Unfortunately, he missed the bit where roads don’t usually end in the ocean. His vehicle was later discovered submerged, but suspiciously parked, handbrake up, and looking more like it was waiting for a ferry than part of a tragic accident.
While a post-mortem revealed he was nearly twice the drink-drive limit, it stopped short of explaining how a drunk man managed to execute textbook parking while drowning.
Coroner Joanne Kearsley, clearly baffled, recorded an open verdict and expressed mild shock that BVI police hadn’t solved the case using a magnifying glass, a deerstalker hat and a GCSE in CSI. She noted the investigation’s standard fell below what would be expected in the UK, where we at least pretend to dust for fingerprints before blaming everything on “tragic circumstances.”
Unanswered questions include: who parked the car so neatly underwater? Was Det Sgt France the victim of tropical parking sabotage? And why does every British expat death abroad read like the cold open of a Netflix series no one asked for?
Local authorities insist it was just a tragic accident. Meanwhile, the handbrake has refused to comment.
