Officials say arts hub will ‘transform the town’, just as soon as they locate the remaining residents with disposable income and enough time to co-design a menu.
Rochdale has announced bold plans to address poverty, housing chaos, and generational neglect by revamping a Grade II-listed building into what is being described as “the creative heartbeat of the borough”, or, by less poetic observers, “a slightly nicer place to sit near a kiln.”
Dubbed the Touchstones of the Future, the building is part of a sprawling £8.5 million scheme to rebrand Rochdale as a creative utopia, where the scent of terrazzo tiles mingles with the warm glow of cultural inclusion. On the ground floor, flexible studio spaces promise to host everything from community art to very tense local meetings about bin collection schedules.
Local councillors claim the refurbishment will revitalise Rochdale’s town centre, largely by luring people in with high ceilings, vintage floor tiles, and the promise of learning how to podcast just like a 27-year-old man with a ring light and too many opinions on Marvel films.
The pièce de résistance is a dining space co-created with the community, a phrase which here means “We asked Dave from Ward 3 what he wanted and he said ‘pie’.” The menu, much like the budget for public services, will be curated on a rolling basis, depending on what’s left in the allotment planter and whether the council can still afford cumin.
Outside, a new herb garden will bloom defiantly amidst the economic rubble, offering what one official described as “a sensory haven.” Experts believe this means people can now panic about the housing crisis while simultaneously smelling rosemary.
The performance space, too, is raising eyebrows, not least because it may be the only venue in Britain where you can see experimental interpretive dance followed immediately by a children’s comedy puppet show about civic drainage.
Meanwhile, artists and creatives are being encouraged to “activate the space,” which sounds exciting but remains deliberately vague. Critics argue the town’s real problems, chronic underfunding, crumbling infrastructure, and an entire street with no working streetlights since 2016, are unlikely to be solved by spoken-word nights and co-working hubs. But as one unnamed council source put it: “Let them throw clay.”
Touchstones 2.0 will officially open in 2027, assuming time doesn’t collapse and Rochdale hasn’t been rebranded again as “Greater East Manchestershire.” Until then, locals are advised to support the vision, embrace cultural innovation, and please avoid leaning on any walls still marked ‘Damp – Do Not Touch.’
