Middleton residents have been left fuming after months of delayed post, though some say it’s still quicker than waiting for a reply from their MP.
Local MP Elsie Blundell has launched a furious attack on Royal Mail bosses, accusing them of turning letter delivery into a slow-motion treasure hunt. She’s even threatened to raise it in Parliament, presumably once she’s caught up on emails from February.
“I don’t usually make my letters public,” she wrote in a public letter, publicly, “but I’m outraged at Royal Mail’s failure to deliver.” Constituents noted the irony, given Ms Blundell’s own track record of vanishing into the mist the moment a reply is needed.
One voter said, “I emailed her about an issue in March. Still waiting. I’ve had four Prime Ministers since then. Royal Mail might be late, but at least it eventually turns up.”
Another added, “My hospital appointment letter came the day after the surgery. My letter from Elsie still hasn’t come. Maybe she’s using owls.”
In her letter to Royal Mail CEO Alistair Cochrane, Blundell criticised their claim that people “don’t get much post anymore” and insisted the real problem is late delivery. Residents agreed, especially those who only receive letters once a fortnight, usually bundled together like junk mail bingo.
Royal Mail has blamed everything from NHS admin to intergalactic weather patterns. One spokesperson said, “Some customers expect their mail to arrive on the same day it’s posted. That’s adorable.”
Meanwhile, local suspicion is growing that Royal Mail is prioritising parcels over post. “My Amazon parcel came next-day,” said Tracey Anderson Sayers. “My daughter’s exam results arrived after the school had already burned down.”
Despite the chaos, locals still cling to the faint hope that things will improve. “Royal Mail might be slow,” said one resident, “but at least it doesn’t pretend to be listening.”
We’ll let you know when we get our press pass in the post… assuming it wasn’t lost in the post or buried in Elsie’s inbox.
