RBH has announced a wave of job vacancies this week, describing it as “a fantastic opportunity to join a growing team,” by which they mean “please help, everyone’s gone.”
The social housing provider, known for putting customers at the heart of everything it does (and occasionally leaving them there overnight) or letting them leave in a… well… (we don’t talk about the mould), is on a desperate mission to fill the void left by a mysteriously disappearing workforce. Whether they were abducted by aliens, headhunted by the council, or simply walked into the Pennines muttering about “stress,” no one can say.
Available positions include General Operative (Fencing), presumably to patch up the holes left by the last operative’s dramatic exit; Electrician, to fix the office kettle that’s been tripping the lights since 2021; Neighbourhood Housing Assistant (Fixed Term, in case you also vanish); and Income Officer, responsible for gently reminding tenants to pay rent with all the charm of a HMRC letter dipped in vinegar.
“All roles are central to our mission of pretending to have enough staff,” said a spokesperson, who asked not to be named when speaking to the Rochdale Times in case HR spots them and adds another job to their rota.
Perks include 30 days of annual leave if you make it twelve months, bank holidays, five extra days after five years (assuming you survive), and a pension plan robust enough to support your therapist’s retirement, but fails to mention death in service benefits.
Applicants are encouraged to apply quickly via the RBH Current Vacancies page before the last one out turns off the website.
