In a heart-warming display of civic pride, emotional fortitude, and inflatable-based therapy, Rochdale’s “Our Big Day” awards ceremony honoured hundreds of local children who’ve managed to achieve greatness, despite the universe handing them a particularly naff set of starter cards.
Hosted at Matthew Moss High School, the event saw cared-for children recognised by social workers, teachers and councillors for doing things most adults still struggle with, such as trying, coping, and showing basic human decency during a housing crisis.
The Mayor of Rochdale handed out medals in what one witness described as “the Olympics, but for real-life champions who can assemble a GCSE portfolio while emotionally dodging the plot of a Channel 4 drama.”
Awards ranged from educational and sporting achievement to that most elusive of British qualities: ‘trying really, really hard while everything’s on fire’. Children were praised for their determination, kindness, and for being better humans than most of the people who run the country.
Cllr Rachel Massey, clearly fighting back tears and a rogue glitter cannon, described the children as “talented, bright and inspiring”, a statement absolutely no one contested, except possibly a nearby child trying to glue their medal to their forehead.
The day wasn’t all speeches and sobbing, though. The council wheeled out the big guns in the form of Spider-Man, Elsa from Frozen, and what appeared to be a rogue clown who had mistaken Rochdale for Vegas. Activities included face painting, outdoor games, and emotional support via inflatable slide.
The event was funded by an army of local sponsors including Axiom, Aquatherm, Morrisons, The Co-op, and a list of companies longer than the wait time for adult mental health services. Still, their money made joy happen, so we’ll allow the corporate virtue-signalling this once.
From down the M62, we salute the real superheroes of Rochdale, not the ones in Spandex, but the kids quietly surviving, thriving, and occasionally pelting the Deputy Mayor with foam balls of justice.
