Littleborough unveils ‘tree’ made of temporary traffic lights, Chris Rea begins slow blink towards ceremony
Festive joy broke out in confused ripples this week as Littleborough unveiled its Christmas “tree”, a dazzling stack of temporary traffic lights left behind by a distracted roadworks crew and hastily rebranded as festive décor by the council’s Seasonal Panic Unit.
The installation, located in the village square (just next to the defibrillator that plays Silent Night), features an artful arrangement of red, amber, and green, often all at once, creating what the council described as “a metaphor for modern Britain, and also quite Christmassy if you squint”.
In a daring coup for the event, singer and perpetual commuter Chris Rea has been announced as the official switch-on act. Having set off from Heywood over a week ago, he was last sighted circling a mini-roundabout in Sudden, looking mildly lost and humming his way through On the Beach. Organisers remain hopeful that, with a tailwind and three sausage rolls, he’ll arrive by Thursday.
“This year’s tree is a bold celebration of innovation and budgetary restraint,” said a spokesperson for the Littleborough Labour Team. “We wanted to highlight sustainability by reusing what we already had, mainly, roadworks. Besides, nothing says Christmas in Rochdale quite like a flashing amber warning.”
Early reviews from residents have been mixed. “I thought it was a bit odd at first,” said local butcher Dave Latchford, 47, “but then it blinked at me in perfect time with Fairytale of New York, and I felt something stir in me chest. Might’ve been heartburn, though.”
The switch-on ceremony is scheduled for 29th November, assuming the temporary lights don’t get requisitioned for urgent pothole repairs in Milnrow. Should Chris Rea fail to appear, a lad from the Co-op has been briefed to press the button while dressed as a festive cone.
As ever, reporting from down the M62, we’ll be monitoring the situation, or at least waiting to see which light comes on next.
