In a shocking turn of events, Heywood has been declared a national “vanguard” of regeneration, a word nobody uses outside of government press releases and high fantasy novels.
Minister for Local Growth Alex Norris braved the scenic car parks and pothole corridors of the town this week to see how Heywood, recently handed £19.5 million, plans to transform itself from “the place between Middleton and somewhere else” into a thriving hub of community-led aspiration, or at least somewhere with bins that get emptied regularly.
Norris was joined by local MP Elsie Blundell, who has made it her mission to put Heywood “on the map”, presumably somewhere above the “Here Be Dragons” part labelled “M62 congestion”.
The £19.5 million, part of the Plan for Neighbourhoods scheme, will be spent on crucial priorities such as “health and well-being”, “heritage and culture”, and, if there’s any left, a Subway with outdoor seating.
The town has submitted a 10-year regeneration plan, which officials say was “impressively fast”, largely because no one in Heywood has had anything else to do since the Wetherspoons shut early last month.
Brian Davies, chair of the Heywood Town Board and local expert in not tolerating nonsense, reportedly said he was “very pleased” with the government visit, though eyewitnesses claim he muttered something about “getting on with it” and “not turning the bus station into an ‘interactive light garden’ again”.
Blundell added, “We’re proud of Heywood and everything it has to offer,” which currently includes a functioning chippy, a very moderated Heywood Facebook group managed by that Sandra, and now a large sum of money that may or may not be converted into decorative bollards.
Residents are cautiously optimistic, although some are still traumatised by the last regeneration attempt, which led to three public art installations, a community fridge no one could open, and an eight-week argument about the colour of a mural.
