In a move no one saw coming, least of all the pigeons that have been squatting there rent-free since the ’90s, a derelict Roman Catholic chapel in Middleton is being resurrected, not by divine intervention, but by Hopwood Hall College’s IT department.
The Milnrow Chapel, a moody concrete relic once described as the prototype for Liverpool Metropolitan Cathedral (and also by one councillor as “a brutalist migraine”), will now be transformed into a futuristic T-level engineering and VR learning hub. Think Hogwarts, but with more asbestos and fewer wands.
Built between 1961 and 1965 for the De La Salle Teacher Training College, the chapel was deconsecrated sometime in the ’90s, presumably when God took one look at the roof and left via a crack in the ceiling.
Seven Architecture, the team behind the plans, say it will “safeguard the future of this important heritage asset”, which is developer-speak for: “we’ve finally figured out how to make it warm and legally habitable”.
Among the upgrades are fully accessible parking, landscaping, and actual insulation, which is a step up from the current setup of “shivering next to a damp pew and praying for heating.”
Even the altar stone, which had previously been dismantled and probably used to prop up filing cabinets, could make a comeback, now likely to be used as a 3D printer stand or forgotten under a pile of A-level coursework.
The chapel will now teach cutting-edge subjects like virtual reality and engineering, which is great news for students, and even better news for Karl from Langley, who should probably be sent back for Level 1 English before he makes another attempt at writing “absolutely” on Facebook without including the letters X, K or a random emoji of a lorry.
The building had been suffering from blocked gutters, damp, asbestos and neglect, which is coincidentally also how most former pupils describe their Year 9 education experience.
Still, the transformation marks a significant win for both heritage preservation and educational progress in Rochdale, where history is usually only respected if it’s attached to a pub.
Reporting from down the M62, where VR goggles are now more common than GCSEs in woodwork.
